Monday, January 7, 2013

Doctors, Not Patients, Need to Take Out-of-Control Asthma Seriously

Still can't breathe.  My husband called the doctor from work today.  No way for me to go in with four sick kids and nobody to watch them.  They're too sick to even dress themselves so they can go somewhere, and the only person I know who could watch them (my parents)--well, my mom has the flu now, too.  If my husband takes care of them, there's nobody to take me to the doctor.  Ack.  And the reason my husband called the doctor instead of me?  Because they tend to take him seriously.  It's not as if I have a history of calling these people and then having nothing wrong with me, but over the years, whatever doctor I have, it's the same thing--just wait, you just have a cold, there isn't anything else we can do.

They're probably going to prescribe me prednisone--probably eke it out 20mg at a time.  I'm past the point of that doing much good now.

We've talked about getting somebody from my husband's church or the lodge or something to take me to the doctor.  But the doctor is only open while my husband is at work--once again, who will keep an eye on the kids?  We had this all worked out, so I would be able to go to the doctor, but we didn't count on everybody I know getting sick at the same time.

I'm pretty frustrated.  The doctor at the ER Saturday was nice, but it's so difficult to get anybody to understand that in 24 hours my asthma will be completely out of control and that I might be sick for weeks or months.  I'm not being a hypochondriac.  Really.  I've been through this literally a hundred times before.  And here I am again, sitting in the same pajamas I've been wearing since Saturday night.  I'm scaring the children again with my periodic gasping for breath.  Once in a while I get up and do one or two small chores.  Have to take care of the pets, at least.  A couple of the girls are feeling well enough to stagger up and do a couple of things, too.

This is ridiculous.  If you look up 'out of control asthma' on the internet, you see a lot of advice on how to take your asthma seriously and not let it get out of control.  But a peak flow meter is a joke for me.  And Saturday, the doctor said my lungs were clear, even though I could tell it was coming--the shortness of breath, the occasional coughing spell--that's all I need to predict another long drawn-out attack. 

I don't have allergies.  I only get this when I get a cold or some kind of a sinus infection or the flu.  And I know the instant I get the sniffles that I'm in serious danger.  Here I am, sitting at the computer, working hard for every breath--I don't need a peak flow meter to tell me I'm in trouble.  I can't breath well enough to carry on a conversation.  I'd have to be in a persistent vegetative state not to know this is bad.

I take my inhaler dutifully, but I can't even take a deep breath, and if I do, I can't hold it.  All I can do is try to take a deep breath, suck in the inhaler meds, and then let loose with another out-of-control coughing spasm.  All of this means I don't get a good dose of medicine.  A nebulizer doesn't really help, either.

What I need is for doctors to realize what trouble I'm getting into when I get sick.  I should not be sitting here fighting for every single breath all day long, day after day.  The advice not to let my asthma get out of control is useless.  The doctors need advice--they need to be advised not to let this get out of control.  Maybe there's nothing that can be done.  But they could often try harder.  At least some of this could be avoided.

I am tired of not being taken seriously.  I am not a whiny hypochondriac.  Well, today, I might be whiny, but I'm not a hypochondriac.  If anything, I don't go to the doctor soon enough, because I'm afraid I won't be sick enough yet to be taken seriously if I do.  And I'm usually right.  I seriously despise going to doctors.

It's taken me years to admit to myself that I need to rest when I'm sick--even now, I still automatically push myself to keep going no matter what, so I won't get accused of having some kind of a psychological problem, or of just being plain lazy.  I don't understand how I can be this sick and have it be my little secret.

It was a good thing to go to the ER this time before I got too sick to talk--I was able to interrupt the doctor a couple of times and say, look, I've been through this over and over again before--I get sent home from the ER two or three times, and then end up as an inpatient for several days.  I have a long history of getting really sick.  How can this medical history not be relevant when I go in to the doctor today?

I just want to be well.




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